I am very pro-life. I believe that babies are the "funnest" part of creation and we all need more of them in our lives. I have never been for abortion or used birth control. I wanted to have babies. Lot of babies. It didn't work out so well for me in that.
And there is the rub. When I had the ectopic pregnancy I wouldn't allow the surgery until the hormone levels showed that the baby was dead. I wanted that baby, so much. I gave that baby to God, but I am not always happy about it. But, when I was in the hospital in the middle of the slow motion disaster which was that last pregnancy, I begged for my priest to come talk with me, to pray with me. The message I got was--he didn't want to participate in my abortion. And maybe the person who gave me that message didn't hear it correctly. Maybe that isn't what was said.
But, ever since then, I have been somewhat reluctant to be involved with the pro-lifers. It seems like every time I make a step in that direction I am slapped down and judged. I shared my story with someone very pro-life and they pointed me to project Rachel. And this is the thing, I don't think of my baby being anything like an abortion. I wanted that baby more than my own life. I have nothing to repent of except perhaps how much I wanted that baby.
That is why some of Pope Francis' recent news headlines have made me rejoice. It is true that it is important for us to focus on the Gospel message. It is important to offer hurting people who want prayer, prayer and not judgment. Walk a mile in their shoes, maybe. And that doesn't mean that I think we should throw caution to the wind and forget about sin and love and the path of righteousness. But, with love. Love.