Solitude

"Come away by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while." Mark 6:31

After my active mothering days were over it seemed as though solitude would be easy to find.  The demands of a child in the house seem to take precedence over the need to be alone and silent.  As I recall, parenting a teenager prepared me for the silent praying times because of all the times I prayed when he wasn't home yet and I worried about where my kid was.

I have had times when I could easily find that silent prayer time and place.  During the year of the "long walk", for example, I found that a solitary time to pray.  When I pulled the left Achilles tendon and then got the neuroma on the right foot, it seemed that my walking took a sharp decline.  That cut into my "deserted place" time.

The problem with "at home" time for me is--there is so much to do.  Housework, writing, computer use of various sorts, and now we have cable television again and I can watch all those shows where they tear out walls and re-arrange houses.  For me, distractions are great at home.

I haven't developed a good rhythm for Adoration either.  An hour makes me tired and itchy.  I know that is just something I have to get over.  I love to go to Adoration, but after 45 minutes I am usually ready to move around a bit.  A priest suggested that I just do the 45 minutes, that it was enough. If I am called to do more, then I will build up the stamina to pray that long. I do so admire those women who blog about the time they spend with Jesus in Adoration. I want to be those women some day.  I could complain that my parish chapel isn't open on weekends which is the easy time for me to go to Adoration.  But, I wonder if I would go, if the chapel was open.

This Lent, one of my goals is to find that deserted place in my life where I can regularly go to pray.  I intend to spend more time at Adoration, but I also need to develop that solitude and discipline to really spend time in deep prayer. I need to find that desert place and go there again and again.