Sunday, November 23, 2014

Sunday Prayers

Lord, I praise You and I thank You.  The sky looks pretty murky around here.  I am at my low.  The end is nearer than I had hoped it would be.  But You have a plan and I could sing Your praises forever.  Help me get to the forever part.  Help me to witness Your glory and not whimper "Poor Me." Amen

Saturday, November 22, 2014


This has been a particularly rough week.  I suppose any week that one receives a cancer diagnosis has got to be among the roughest.  I am disappointed in the way I handled the news, am handling the news.  In the long run, I know I get to dance with Jesus forever no matter what, so what am I worried about?  Well, unfinished, unfulfilled things for one thing.  And needles and all the problems of living with a disease like breathing.  And my job and the troubles HR is giving me instead of the help they should be giving me.

But, I expect that if I once get a good night's sleep and get used to the idea perhaps I will start doing better.  I think I will call my oncologist Dr. Yogurt.  I meet him on December 3rd. (Or sooner if he has a cancellation.)

So, today is Saturday and I am planning to find some moments of joy and not to worry.  I am looking for joy in the present and the gift of life from the author of life.  And if I spill a few tears it has to do with the newness of it all and the adjusting.

Friday, November 21, 2014

7 Quick Takes

Jennifer Fulwiler usually hosts this carnival of the blogs. Today it is that Kelly from NJ. Go around and visit the rest.

1. Last week I was anticipating a birthday celebration at Lewis and Clarks.  It wasn't to be.  I had a bleeding episode that required a trip to the ER and the surgery I had planned after Thanksgiving to be done Friday night.  There were moments of grace and mercy within all of the scary stuff.  I lost enough blood that I need to take some serious iron and I am not currently doing very well with this.  After the pills initially gave my stomach troubles, I planned to back off and do something wimpier like take a multi-vitamin with iron.  When I spoke to my general practioner he explained to me why that wasn't good enough and convinced me that I needed to step it up.  Also, he scheduled a blood test for me Dec. 1-ish and I am expected to show improvement.  I hate failing tests.

2. I have felt terrible at school this week.  The blood loss and the iron and the anti-biotics have taken it out of me.  And this was book fair week.  Exhausting.  Somewhere in here are the plans He made for me.

3. Everybody in the country seems to have enjoyed unseasonably cold weather this week.  The extreme cold and snow broke records around here.

4. I baked pumpkin bread for a teacher thing on Wednesday.  It tasted pretty good and was very easy.

5. Wednesday night I had a session on Unbound.  I was freed from fear about all of this medical stuff which gets scarier by the minute.

6. The doctor finally got back to me on Thursday afternoon. I was awaiting the results of the tests on my cells to make sure that they were normal.  He called right when I got home.  He was still in Canada at a conference.  In my heart I knew that if it wasn't bad news he would have had the nurse tell me.  It was bad news.  I am referred to a oncologist for a hysterectomy.  I still have to make that appointment.

7. One thing that last week's little ER visit showed me is that I can't  just start posts and leave them to publish themselves if they aren't finished.  I need to save things to draft more and not assume that I will be showing up to finish them before they publish themselves.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Thank You, Lord

Dear Lord,

This has been a tough week.  I have been sick and getting sicker.  I have been a patient who wasn't very patient.  I thank You that Heaven will be better than all of this.  I am thankful that in the dark scared places, You are there.  I am thankful that no matter how bad it seemed, You still loved me and held my hand.

I praise You and thank You and give you all the glory.

Your beloved daughter,


Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Yarn Along, Take 2

I have not completely given up the idea that I could learn to make charming baby booties, as I showed my fail at that last week.  People were so encouraging of my effort that I thought I might try again. So I am linking up to the Yarn Along as a wannabe crochet-er.
I want to make a zig zag scarf.  I once made a zig zag afghan (almost 50 years ago).  It wasn't hard.  I think I might have the afghan somewhere around here.  But, the chevron pattern is another name for the zig zag and it is cool right now.  I have looked for patterns and I haven't settled upon one.  Any suggestions?
And I am still reading The Dark Unwinding.  It is becoming tedious but I need to read it because it is part of the book club competition.  I hope that it will pick up, since I am at the halfway point.  I am taking a class on Wednesday nights on the Unbound book.  It is great.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

The Plans He Made for Me

My November was pretty tightly planned.  I had spiritual direction, doctors appointments, surgery scheduled, holiday plans with my family, a birthday, a book fair, just to mention the big things.  I had plans.  Among the key to those was the surgery I had scheduled the day after Thanksgiving.  A lot of things were done working up to that and plans were made working around that.  I had plans.

Fortunately, I had completed all the preliminaries for the surgery and it was in the books.  The only thing I had left was the EKG and the pre-op.  But, I was good to go.  Then my body decided to have a little problem that became a bigger problem.  I ended up in the ER on Friday.  I didn't know what would become of my plans.  I just knew that I needed help and somebody was going to have to help me.

It turns out that my doctor who only schedules procedures a few days a week and often travels to present papers and stuff about the kind of surgery he performs was in the hospital performing procedures on Friday when I turned up in the ER.  He decided after hearing about me that he would add me on and finish me up Friday night.  The surgery that was planned the day after Thanksgiving was going to be happening in the midst of all my plans.

And it went okay.  I was aware going in that it might require a second surgery and it will.  I am a little concerned that my problem will reoccur before the next surgery gets to the schedule point and I will end up in the ER again.  But, I am not worried about it.  I will be able to go on and do book fair next week and Thanksgiving and yay, no surgery the day after.  This is better than I had planned.  It was God's plans.

Monday, November 17, 2014

Let It Snow

Well, we had some accumulating on Saturday.  Even though I frequently claim to live in the south, snow is not a rare thing here in the Lou.   But snow before Thanksgiving is rare.  Some would say a rare treat, but most in the Lou look at it with fear and dread.  Snow slows us down and we are rarely ready for it by the 15th of November.

Not so, when I was a kid in northern Illinois.  My birthday is November 13th, the Feast Day of St Frances Xavier Cabrini and in Rockford the 13th was about the average snow date.  My family would make little bets and jokes about whether it would snow for my birthday.  Sometimes it did and sometimes it didn't.  I remember especially my dad teasing me about being windy and bringing the snow.

I wasn't feeling great on my birthday last Thursday.  I ended up having surgery on Friday, so that explains it, but on my birthday I didn't know that was coming.  As I drove to school on Thursday little snowflakes danced on my car window.  All through the day little snow showers danced outside the windows of my library.  And I had to smile and remember my dad.  I absolutely believe my dad is up there dancing in heaven and I don't believe the dead communicate with us or send us messages.  When we ask, they pray for us.

But, I do believe that things on earth can give us reminders of people we loved and can give us a lift and a positive feeling.  That is how I felt on Friday remembering my happy laughing dad and the things he would sometimes say.  The snowflakes were a gift on Thursday. 

I am just not sure how I feel about the ones that came on Saturday.....

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Sunday Prayers

I praise You on this Sunday for the plans You have made for my life.  I think that I make plans and dance through my life trying to serve you, but You have the better plans.  I praise You and I thank You and I give You all the glory.

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Boring Post for Saturday

Have you tried Oikos Pumpkin Pie Yogurt?  If you love pumpkin pie and you love yogurt then you should.  It is delicious!  (Not sponsored by anyone, I just like me some pumpkin pie yogurt.) And I had planned to write a longer post about it, but it was overtaken by events....

And this post is late because I ended up in the hospital having the surgery scheduled for the day after Thanksgiving last night.  I went into the ER with a heavy bleed and the doctor who was doing the surgery was there and he just added me on to his cases.  I am out today and really tired from not getting any sleep in the hospital at all, but I am feeling better.

Just before I was discharged the Eucharistic minister came in and I had Communion. So that was the icing on the cake, but my birthday dinner at Lewis and Clarks will be rescheduled.  I keep thinking about--I know the plans I have made for you.....God had other plans than the birthday dinner and I won't have to be worried until Thanksgiving..... Unfortunately, the one surgery didn't get it all, so I will need to schedule something for December.  God has those plans worked out too.

Friday, November 14, 2014

Seven Quick Takes

Jennifer Fulwiler hosts this carnival of the blogs.  Welcome if you have strolled in from there.

1. Saturday hubs and I went down to the Rigali Center to hear a talk on Unbound.  A lot was going on there on Saturday morning.  There was an engaged encounter meeting.  Marcus Grodi was speaking.  The joint was jumping.  The talk on Healing and Deliverance was well attended and I got so much out of it.

For lunch, since we were at that end of town, we went to Chic Fil A.  I love the chick if only it were not always so busy.  A good problem to have, I suppose.

2. Sunday was the usual church and lunch out.  In the evening I talked to my mom. And my brother.

3. Monday was a long day.

4. Tuesday I was the woman with the hemorrhage.  I wished I could touch the hem of His garment.  Cramps, the whole 9 yards.  I am too old for this.

5. Wednesday was a better day. I went to the Renewal Center for a class on deliverance in the evening.

6. Thursday was my 61st birthday.  I talked to my son on the phone.  Hubby gave me gifts and sang.  He then went to a concert and the biggest present was that I didn't have to go with him.  I went to the Area Wide Prayer Meeting instead.

7. And tonight we will go out as a family to eat and to celebrate my birthday.
My place of choice will be Lewis and Clarks in St. Charles.